Screaming at the top of my lungs, I practically levitated out the door where I collapsed in my safe spot weeping and shaking uncontrollably. Right outside my bedroom door around the corner, there was a spot out of the sightline of any windows. My well-rehearsed escape plan locked in my mind despite being blinded by fear. At first glance, I could only see the reflection of light from my room until my eyes focused on what was on the other side of the screen – a mask of a pure white face with a maniacal grin and a hand scratching on the screen. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, I heard a strange, unfamiliar scratch at the window. The following incident occurred years before I did time on the couch and may be the precise moment that ensured my need for therapy. As ridiculous as this sounds, these fears had staying power despite the logic tossed my way from every family member in various forms. One of my big catastrophic thoughts was that all the creepy animals, horrible monsters and sketchy people might show up at my dark window. Our parents were far off in the guest section of the Inn making beds. She was trying on clothes, cleaning her room and grooving to Saturday Night, the only song I remember from that album.
One night, I was playing with my trolls while Sarah listened to the Bay City Rollers in her room next to mine.
#Cindy song pyscic tv#
I was like a third TV channel, only slightly better than Hee Haw. After a long day of working with what we had, Sarah would redirect her creative skills to riling me up. Since it was kind of boring living out in Etna in the Seventies, we had to creatively find entertainment. My long list of irrational fears and high-level reactions made me a prime target. We grew up at Pierce’s Inn, a large, rambling and creaky old building with lots of nooks and crannies, which fueled my fear of the dark and provided opportunities for Sarah to get a rise out of me. Sarah grew up to be one of the most kind and loving people despite the fact that she spent a lot of time attempting to make every one of my childhood fears come true. I lived in a constant state of fight-or-flight until my sister went to college.
A Creaky Old House, a Dark Night and a Tub of Noxzema
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